Unshackling Entrepreneurship: Finding Freedom Beyond Financial Success

March 5, 2024

Title: “Unshackling Entrepreneurship: Finding Freedom Beyond Financial Success”

Episode: 222

“People become entrepreneurs because they want freedom, they want control. What happens is typically, the profession and the phase to get more and do more ends up controlling them.”

Joining us in this episode of Profit First for REI podcast is Brad Chandler and Yvonne Trost. Brad and Yvonne’s passion is to help people. They created a program as an opportunity to help people make a true impact on their lives.

In this episode, Brad and Yvonne dive deep into what is holding you back as a human being and as an entrepreneur. They can help you with the key aspects and first steps of getting on a better path, so keep tuned in!

Key Takeaways:

[00:57] Introducing Brad Chandler and Yvonne Trost

[06:04] The self-worth issue

[10:57] Being an entrepreneur as a trauma-response

[13:34] Everything that they have is inside them

[19:17] The limiting beliefs

[21:12] Letting go of fear and judgment

[26:00] The different money mindsets

[30:00] Reason behind perfectionism

[31:30] Connect with Brad Chandler and Yvonne Trost

Quotes:

[07:28] “It’s built into us to find safety…our self-conscious mind’s job is to keep us alive and safe.”

[13:22] “Quite often, the things that we seek outside of ourselves are the things that turn around and not give us what we intentionally wanted to begin with… everything that they have is inside them.”

[19:17] “You are the only person who limits you, not society, not the world, not your education, it’s you. Primarily you limit yourself by self-learning beliefs that are in your head.”

[30:51] “Trauma isn’t the actual bad thing that happens to you. The trauma is the meaning that you place on that event.”

Connect with Brad and Yvonne:

Website: https://www.bradchandler.com/

Tired of living deal to deal?

If you are a real estate investor or business owner who is tired of living deal to deal and want to double your profits, head over here to book your no-obligation discovery call with me. Either myself or someone from my team will hop on a short call with you to get clear on your business goals, remove any obstacles holding you back, and map out a game plan to help you finally start keeping more of the money you work so hard to make. – David

Transcript:

Speaker 1 (00:00):

Everybody that I talk to, and we’re doing a lot of this with most of the fears, not just becoming an entrepreneur. People become an entrepreneur because they want freedom, they want control. What happens is typically the profession and the pace to get more and do more ends up controlling them and they become enslaved to the entrepreneurship. So quite often the things that we seek outside of ourself are the things that turn around and not give us what we intentionally wanted to begin with.

Speaker 2 (00:29):

If you’re a real estate investor who’s sick and tired of living deal to deal, then welcome home. Hear from everyday real estate investors just like you, and discover how they’ve completely transformed their business by taking a profit First approach. This is the profit first for REI podcast, where we believe revenue is vanity. Profit is sanity. It’s time to start making profit a habit in your business. So here’s your host, David Richter.

Speaker 3 (00:56):

Hey, it’s David Richter, the prophet for RII podcast. Today we have Brad Chandler and Yvonne Trost. Really excited about this one because they dive deep into what is really holding you back as a human being, as an entrepreneur, if you don’t have the money you want, the love that you want, anything in your life that is going wrong right now, they can really help with some just key aspects in the first steps of getting on a better path. This is a very emotional one. Buckle yourself in or skip it if you’re not ready. Honestly, I want you to really get some help from this one. Thank you for being a listener and enjoy the episode. Hey everyone, it is David Richter of the Prophet First RI podcast. Have Brad Chandler back. He was one of my favorite episodes that we’ve done over the last couple of years, and now we have Yvonne TROs joining him, his partner in crime, and helping a lot of people out there and really getting to, I feel like some of the root issues that we go through as human beings, not just as entrepreneurs.

(01:51):

So Brad, Yvonne, thanks for being on the show today. Thanks for having us. Yeah, well, I’m excited. Okay, we got Brad’s story a little bit the first time, but I’m going to give both of you some time here just to give, how did you get into what you’re doing today and explaining just a high level overview so people have at least a little bit of background before we dive into the deep stuff and make people really uncomfortable. Just kidding, not want to dive. So Yvonne, you want to start since you didn’t get any airtime before, so why don’t you go first and how you got into this and what you’re doing.

Speaker 1 (02:24):

Sure. So I worked for Accenture for 25 years. I was in corporate business and IT strategy and consulting, and my passion was helping people and helping people create better solutions for the customers they serve and the people while they were doing it. I became a little bit disenchanted over the years because it’s been harder and harder. People are stressed, they’re focused on the bottom lines. There’s a lot of politics, and so the passion to help the people became harder to achieve. And so I’d been looking for something, a way to help, and I’m a yoga instructor also, not by profession, but by training. And I just love helping people connect their mind, body and their spirit. And so I met Brad and I went through my own life transformation in another program and he was going through the process of becoming a certified hypnotherapist. And what we do is we’ve created a program that has combined the best of not just hypnotherapy, but life coaching. We call ourselves happiness coaches because we pull together three things to help people realize both with their conscious and their subconscious mind to recode their mind that is controlling them so that they can take back control and then to rewrite their story. So what led me here is finding an opportunity to actually help people make a true impact on their lives. Not in five years, not in five months, but in five weeks.

Speaker 3 (03:54):

Awesome. No, I love that. And I like that you found your outlet too. It sounds like you found your outlet for what you’re truly passionate about and really helping people. And Brad, why don’t you just give a high level overview of your background too, and then how you got into it.

Speaker 4 (04:09):

Yeah, real estate investor started 21 years ago, bought and sold 4,000 houses and three years ago trying to get my son help for anxiety. I was on a call and the lady, the performance coach said, within minutes you’ve got a tick. And I’m like, what are you talking about? She’s like, you blink profusely when you talk about your childhood. You may have some unresolved childhood issues that are actually affecting your son’s anxiety. And I’m like, whatever. No way. Maybe I had some issues, but they weren’t that bad. And I’m a great dad, I’m a single dad. I do everything, so there’s no chance I’m affecting my son. But I’m like, look, I’ve tried everything. I’ve tried drugs with him, I’ve tried psychiatrist, I’ve tried therapist, everything. I was like, I’ll try it. So I came out for a weekend to work with them and literally in the course of three hours, my life forever changed.

(04:55):

And when I got home, my life had changed so profoundly that I was like, I looked around at everyone struggling and suffering. I was like, oh my gosh, they’re suffering for the same reason I am. And wait, I just healed myself in three hours. I wonder if I could give this gift back to other people. So I started talking to people just kind of informally and they’re like, wow, you’re really good at this. And it just took off from there. I started training and now I’ve studied under what I think are some of the best people in the world, and as Yvonne said, we’ve created this program from the best of the best and it’s just working great.

Speaker 3 (05:27):

Yeah. Well, I think it’s so interesting. Your backgrounds are both diverse here. You’ve got real estate investor, you’ve got corporate America, and it’s like you came together on and really helping people get through the other things that they’re going through. And okay, I want to ask this before we dive into the money and all that stuff. Why do we throw up those walls? You threw up that wall right away with the person that said, you have a tick. This might be contributing to your son’s anxiety. And you’re like, Nope. No way. I feel like we all have that defense mechanism, but where does that come from? For most of us

Speaker 4 (06:02):

Childhood, we’re just protecting ourselves. Most of us to some degree have this, I’m not enough. And when you feel you’re not enough, you got to protect yourself. When you feel okay, it doesn’t matter what people say at you because it just kind of pings off of you. But when you’re hurt and someone gives you an insult like, oh man, those are fighting words. Now if someone insults me, it’s more like, you know what? I know this is about them, has nothing to do with me. So it’s just a defense. It’s just a way to protect ourselves.

Speaker 3 (06:29):

Yeah. Okay. Now that we’ve got both of you here, I have a question, and it revolves around gender and what you just said there. Do you feel like that it doesn’t matter, boy, girl, no matter what, that we all struggle with the self-worth issues or is it one or the other or different or, I know that might be nuanced, but I don’t know if it’s black and white question. You guys have studied this and it’s like, I don’t know if that’s just something where it’s perceived out there, but no, we both go through these issues because men typically seem to be the more guarded and don’t do that. But that could be the self-worth issue right there rearing its ugly head. But I was wondering from your studies, and now that I have both people on here, I’d love to get perspective there.

Speaker 1 (07:17):

Absolutely. I don’t think it does matter what your gender is. We’re all human beings. We are all made this way. So we studied neuroscience, quantum physics, you name it. It’s built into us to find safety. And by the time we’re 35, 90 5% of what we know, say, do, think is built and based upon what’s happening in our subconscious mind and our subconscious mind’s job is to keep us alive and safe. And so anything that feels uncomfortable, anything that feels similar to a time when I was a child and I felt unsafe, my brain kicks in and goes into, you’ve probably heard fight or flight. So that’s actual, it is called polyvagal theory. This gentleman, it’s fight or flight is what we go into and all of us do, whether we’re a man or a woman, what triggers us might be different. What feels as safe or unsafe might be different, but it’s more based upon what happened to you in your developmental years and less to do with your sex.

(08:19):

Now, could things that make women feel unsafe be similar based upon cultural norms or environment? Yes, that could draw some similarities, but it’s all around the sense of safety. And so if you don’t feel safe, you go into that fight or flight, you throw up those walls, if it’s really bad, you go into freeze and you just can’t move, right? You can’t do anything, you can’t operate. That’s when people fall into depression. And what we’ve found is to get you out of that fight or flight, you need safety. And for safety, you got to fill yourself up with self-love, absolutely. But to help reduce those triggers and those impacts and throwing up those walls, David, you need community and you need support and you need to surround yourselves with others because that community is what’s going to give you a sense of safety. You can kind of feel as safe on your own, but the more that you can surround yourself, that’s how we’re built.

(09:14):

Human beings aren’t built to live on their own by themselves for the rest of their lives. So that’s why in our program also, we’ve built this amazing community. We believe we don’t just say Brene Brown coined it, vulnerability is a superpower. We believe it, we embody it, we embrace it, and we teach our community that because that’s how then, and we see safety developing amongst men and women equally, as long as we feel like we can connect with them and what’s called attune. So I need to attune to your energy, David. I need to attune to what makes you feel unsafe. I need to understand you. I need to see you, I need to hear you. And if I can do that, it doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman, you can feel safe.

Speaker 3 (09:59):

I like that

Speaker 1 (09:59):

A lot. And you can let the wall down.

Speaker 3 (10:01):

Well, it feels like now you’ve leveled the playing field, and I really like what you said there that because, okay, how many people out there, they go to see the therapist, but the therapist doesn’t create a community. It’s the one-on-one interaction. They send ’em back and it’s like you said, five months, five years later, and it’s like, have they really broken through? I feel like that is so key, and I love that aspect of it. It’s not just, okay, I’m working with you, but I want you to introduce you to other people on this journey. And I like how you say that. Attune. Okay. I have this question just because I’m curious. Do you think becoming an entrepreneur is one of those things where it’s born out of trauma more that you see becoming an entrepreneur or is it like a lot of people do it just because they love becoming an entrepreneur. So I’m like, you’ve probably worked with a lot of people. So I’m wondering is that a trauma response almost becoming an entrepreneur and breaking the norms of society?

Speaker 4 (10:56):

It was for me, and I know it is for a lot of entrepreneurs, whether they’re trying to gain control because they lack control as a child, or in my case, I probably did lack control. But I think more, in my case, I was looking that if I can make millions of dollars, then I will be worthy and happy. And we know now that’s not the case. I mean, look at the Michael Jackson’s of the world. They had all the money in the world and they are not with us. So what we do in our program is we actually show you how you can get to that state that you’re looking for years down the road today, you can find that inner peace and joy, happiness today. And when you get to that state, the likelihood of you reaching the five or 10 million mark is now gone exponentially. You’re not doing it for the wrong reasons, you’re doing it for the right reasons, and you have a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Does that make sense?

Speaker 3 (11:46):

It makes sense to me. Yes. That’s why I was just very curious. I’m sure I love that you put yourself in those shoes like, Hey, I became an entrepreneur from this response. I feel like that is a lot of us out there. I’ve gone through that myself. When I first started it, I felt like I had the right reasons, but there were also some of those other ones that I was trying to scratch that itch of, okay, let’s get some control and some of that. So it definitely resonates with me as well too. And I love Yvonne how you just burst to laughter. So do you have anything to add there because you were quick to be like, okay, yeah, I definitely agree, or something like that. I would love to hear your thoughts on that too.

Speaker 1 (12:25):

I just loved love adding levity to everything, but I think that your self-awareness is great. So many people kind of fear like, oh, I can’t say that. So I love the freedom in which you ask that question because people feel like, oh, I can’t judge myself or other people are going to judge me. So we’re about letting go of all fear and all judgment. We have a lot of entrepreneurs I’ve talked to. I’m not naturally an entrepreneur. I was corporate America 25 years I’m living this and I’m kind of thinking I’m crazy as an entrepreneur for trying, but that’s probably why I was laughing. But what happens is everybody that I talk to, we’re doing a lot of this with most of the fears, not just becoming an entrepreneur. People become an entrepreneur because they want freedom, they want control. What happens is typically the profession and the pace to get more and do more ends up controlling them and they become enslaved to the entrepreneurship.

(13:22):

So quite often the things that we seek outside of ourself are the things that turn around and not give us what we intentionally wanted to begin with. So what we help people understand is everything that they have is inside them. We just need to connect them to their authentic selves. The grand majority of us have not been taught to be authentic. We’ve been taught to make this amount of money, have this home, have this family that looks this way, have this in your bank account, be able to retire by this age. What does that have to do with you, David, and your purpose? Nothing. Nothing. So people are constantly looking outside of themselves to try to be like Brad said enough, because their metric of what enough is is based upon one that was given and conditioned in them. We’re all born enough, but we don’t even know who we are probably by the time we’re 16 because we’ve been tried to have been molded and shaped and pushed, right? So we reconnect people back to their purpose like Brad said, right? And once you find your purpose, life flows easily at least much more effortlessly than before. And then that’s where you can attract the abundance that you set out to attract to begin with,

Speaker 3 (14:36):

And not just the trauma response, I’ve got to do something different here. Or I love your perspective of the big corporate background and like, okay, am I crazy for doing this and jumping into it? I feel like it doesn’t matter what side of the fence you’re on, you grew up in an entrepreneurial family or you went to corporate route. We all have those same thoughts. Okay, question for both of you, and before you get to the money, what would you say? Why is this not stuff like this not taught at a younger age or other places? It’s almost like when we’re profit first for real estate investing, I feel like financial literacy should have been taught, should be taught at a very young age. But what about this is where connecting to your purpose, this is at least money is a generally accepted thing out there. I feel like this is the topic that a lot of people shy away from really getting to know themselves, being authentic. They might think it’s woo woo or out there, and I’m like, well, no, this is going to the root cause. Why are we not taught stuff like this in schools?

Speaker 4 (15:40):

It’s why are we not taught this in schools? Because I think so few people really understand this concept and then why isn’t it available today in more therapy and psychology and life coaching? Because here’s the reason, up until 20 years ago, they thought that these memories that you formed as a child that are controlling your behavior today were implanted in your brain for eternity and could never be changed. Just in the last 20 years, they’ve realized that you can literally through neuroplasticity, take out neurons in your brains that are telling yourself these bad stories that are controlling you and put in new ones. Well, even though it came out 20 years ago, do you think they’re teaching it in psychology classes today? No. They’re still teaching the core cognitive behavioral therapy. I’ve got anxiety. So let’s teach you some breathing techniques. It’s like you have a headache every single day and you go to the doctor and the doctor is like, well, let me teach you how to massage your head rather than let’s figure out why do you have these headaches in the first place?

(16:46):

Let’s go to the source. That’s what we do. We go to the source because as Yvonne said, no one was born with addiction, depression, anxiety, and eating disorder. It was all learned behavior. So if it was learned, we can unlearn it. So yeah, this is why you can tell that we’re so passionate about it. We stumbled across it, really stumbled across it, and now it’s like I have a message. We have a message to tell the entire world. If you’re suffering or struggling, you don’t need to be on drugs and go to your psychiatrist every Tuesday at 11 o’clock for 30 years. I didn’t go every week, but on and off for 30 years and in three hours I got more out of those 30 years times a hundred. Yeah,

Speaker 1 (17:28):

Man, I would add overworking to that list too, right? You weren’t born overworking, so probably a lot of your listeners, a lot of entrepreneurs, I feel like, okay, Yvonne, drink your own champagne here. Don’t overwork, right? So I think overworking is another problem that we’re still trying to seek to be enough. I think in addition to this is new, this isn’t a moneymaker. One of my friends who is in therapy is like, well, but how do you don’t keep your clients for years? How do you find new clients? And I’m like, well, it’s not about the money. It’s about helping people make a difference. So our program is five weeks, but really after week three, people have the tools they need to not just have the awareness but to embody the change. They don’t have to keep coming to see us, but we build a community because we believe everybody is limitless.

(18:21):

So we’re changing our name to limitless you because we believe you, David, and everybody else is limitless and we don’t have to stop and we can support each other growing. So I think that is one of the reasons, and you said we’re going to wait to get to the money, but that’s why it’s western society. It’s not a moneymaker. So we focus on the mind, body, spirit connection. In western society it’s been like, okay, you go to the doctor for this, you go to the therapist for this, you go to your gym for that, and people are just treating and looking at a part, but they’re not thinking about how does the whole person come together because number one, it’s difficult. And number two, there’s not a well making, well oiled moneymaking machine. So that’s another reason I tell people all the time, this is crazy. This isn’t rocket science. It’s actually much, much easier than going to therapy. But that’s why I think it’s not as prevalent.

Speaker 4 (19:17):

You are the only person who limits you, not society, not the world, not your education. It’s you and primarily you limit yourself by self-limiting beliefs that are in your head that were put there for a really, really valid reason to get you through a stressful time as a child, but they don’t serve you today. So a lot of people know those limiting beliefs. And look at me for 47 years, I had no idea. I had this limiting belief around I’m not enough that controlled my life to a degree every area of my life in a negative degree. And as soon as I realized it and cleared it out, now these last three years of my life have been just amazing, the best three years by far of any other three year stretch in my life.

Speaker 1 (19:56):

Yeah. David, one other thing I would add for your listeners, I didn’t have a big trauma when I met Brad, he was like, oh, you should try that. I’m like, I’m fine. My childhood was kind of boring. I don’t know what you’re talking about. So you probably have a lot of listeners that are like, I don’t know what they’re talking about. My childhood was great, blah, blah, blah. That was my story. That’s about everybody’s stories that we talked to, unless they had big T trauma. And he is like, but you’re in a bad marriage. So there’s a clue there that something might have not been right. I’m like, oh, that’s just how it is. So we’re all brought up with that’s just how it is and what we think is available to us. The same thing with money and earning money. The same thing with how hard do I have to work to get money?

(20:43):

I was taught, they call it work for a reason. You’re not supposed to enjoy it or have fun, right? You got to work 24 7 to make it to break through. These are all limiting beliefs that have been planted in our minds. So once we learn to let go of those, and that’s what you need, a subconscious safari guide. That’s what I call us basically. It’s hard to do that on your own, so we help guide you. But once you can do that, then you can let go of fear. You can let go of judgment of yourself and others and it’s like you’re floating through life. Yeah.

Speaker 3 (21:22):

Wow, man. Lots to unpack there. Number one I would say I really liked what you had said about it is about follow the money, right? In the western civilization of like, okay, why are you in therapy for years and years? Well, I mean there’s the financial incentive for the therapist to have you in therapy for years and years, and I like where you’re like, no, we just got to get to the root of it, and then you provide the community on the backend. And I think it’s so interesting what you just said there, that would’ve resonated with me probably two years ago because I thought, oh, I had a great family growing up, no trauma. But as I’ve gotten more real with myself, I understand that there are things that are those limiting beliefs. Like you were saying, Brad, and you were saying yvan both.

(22:04):

It’s like we have those limiting beliefs that are put on us. Where I did, it wasn’t even a traumatic point in my life, but it’s like this does not serve me at this point anymore. The work hard till the day you die where it’s like, okay, and I can’t enjoy the money or I can’t enjoy this or that, and it’s like, yeah, some of this stuff is just not good. It’s not going to help me be who I really need to be for the other people in my life and for those out there. So yeah, I could deep dive. We could stay there for seems like a long time.

Speaker 1 (22:36):

Well, what I would say is we’re not beating up your parents and we’re not beating up our parents. Everybody does the best they can with what they’ve been taught. Exactly. So all we need to do is continue to be curious and compassionate. So I say equals mc squared. You can think about from Einstein’s perspective and our perspective, it’s the energy you want in your life. You need to have mindful thinking raised to the power of compassion and curiosity. We like formulas in finance, we so maybe your listeners can remember that next time they’re triggered or they’re feeling bad or life isn’t the way that they want think. Get curious and compassionate because everybody’s just doing the best they can and how can we do better together?

Speaker 3 (23:22):

Can you say the formula again with the letters and the words with them just so we can have it again?

Speaker 1 (23:27):

Sure. So E is the energy you want in your life. M is for mindful thinking and we raise it to the power of compassion and curiosity. And with that it’s magic.

Speaker 3 (23:43):

Yes, it is, man. I’ve been going on this journey myself too, and it is sometimes now something pops up and it’s like, okay, why is that popping up? Instead of the immediate reaction being like, I want to silence or violence. It’s like, okay, let’s get curious about this. But it’s taken me a little bit to get into the habit of it because my habit before was attack or retreat. There was no middle ground at that point. So okay, I love this stuff.

Speaker 1 (24:15):

One thing I’ll add for you, David, and for your listeners, I just had a session with a client and Tony Robbins has said it, other people have said it, but one way to get yourself to be curious is just the mantra. Things happen for me, not to me. So even when the crappiest thing is happening, if you can just remember why is this happening for me? I know I believe it is happening for me. Why is this that gets you into that habit? So maybe that’s a helpful life hack.

Speaker 4 (24:45):

Every time you feel a negative emotion, it’s similar to having a temperature. When you are sick, your body sounds the alarm system and gives you a temperature. When you feel a negative emotion, it’s your body or the universe saying you’ve got work to do because really, unless someone in your family is dying or you’re being attacked by a bear, which isn’t going to happen very often, either of those two things, there’s no reason for you to be in an agitated, upset, sad, angry state there. And the only reason you feel that way is because you’re going back to those times 30 years ago or however long ago when you were a child and bringing those into the current situation.

Speaker 3 (25:22):

Yeah, no, that’s really good. So let’s go dive into since profit first for real estate investing, a lot of people have those limiting beliefs. I need to work hard, or they attach their self-worth to their net worth. And I’m like, okay, have you dug into that with a lot of people and you see a lot of different, I don’t know, attitudes or money mindsets that hold a lot of people back. Would you say it is ever, the money’s the root cause or is it the things behind the money? I just have so many questions around this because I know a lot of people listening to this probably have something going on in their life when it comes to the finances.

Speaker 4 (26:00):

I don’t think ever actually about the money. It’s what the money represents. So I had a client who could retire but works his ass off. And when we got into digging about his childhood, part of his trauma was that his dad worked all the time and he never recognized that, oh my God, I’m repeating the same thing over and over again. In my case, I at 10 years old was told that we might lose our house enough to move into public housing. And I’d gone to that public housing and I knew there was shootings there. So I think my little 10-year-old brain said, if you don’t have enough money, you go to public housing and you get shot. So I think part of me trying to make millions of dollars was I don’t ever want to go to that public housing. And maybe that’s why I got into housing in the first place, and that’s maybe any given time. I owned 150 houses, I was like, I don’t ever want to face that chance of being killed.

Speaker 3 (26:54):

Wow. Yes. I feel like a lot of us go through that. Yvonne, do you have anything to add on that side when it comes to the finances?

Speaker 1 (27:02):

I think Brad hit the nail on the head with it’s the meaning you give it. It doesn’t have to come from a traumatic event though. It’s also the meaning that it has for you. So I didn’t have a traumatic event, but I was valued. It’s your sense of self-worth. So for Brad, it’s like safety for me or for others it was safety. But yes, it was also like, I’ll be good enough for my parents when I achieve this. I’ll be like my friends that I get compared to all the time when I achieve that. So going back to us, it’s our sense of belonging. So it’s the meaning you give to it. And a lot of times we don’t think about, oh, we don’t really care if we belong to this group or that, but humans need to identify with a group. And so it’s the meaning you give it and it’s also the meaning you give the group in which you associate with. So do you want to associate with the affluent or do you want to associate with the impoverished and based upon what you watch on tv, even though all the stats say some of the poorest people are the happiest people, that’s not what you’re fed in the movies and that’s not what your parents and your families tell you. So it’s kind of dual meaning there.

Speaker 4 (28:23):

And how do you define success? Have you ever been on a talk show or heard a news program or watched any show where someone’s like, Hey, we’re bringing on the successful person, and he or she gets on there and they’re like, yeah, I’ve helped save all of these lives. I own a small church in wherever Latin America, no, success is always defined by how much money do you have and ask. Do you think Tiger Woods is successful? I don’t think when you nearly kill yourself twice in five years because of drugs and that you’re successful, was he maybe the greatest golfer of all time? Yeah, but is he successful? Look, you can just define it any way you want. Some people may be like, yes, he is. I would not define it my life if I had a hundred million dollars but was trying to kill myself through drugs to numb myself, I wouldn’t deem that as success.

Speaker 3 (29:16):

Yeah, I really like what you said and what Yvonne ran with was it’s not the money, it’s the meaning we give to it. And I think that resonates because, and you both had stories on the back end, one from trauma, one from not, and it’s still the meaning we give because Yvonne with what you were saying, you probably struggled with perfectionism at some point because it was like, Hey, I have to be perfect in order to get, that was me. That was totally me. I felt like I had to get the straight A’s. I had to do this stuff, I had to do the image. I had to project this image that was out there where it’s like, no, I want to tell who I really am, and sometimes it’s not so perfect. So that definitely showed up in my money habits as well too when it came to that stuff. So

Speaker 4 (30:00):

There’s a reason behind perfectionism. Do you know what it is?

Speaker 3 (30:03):

Well, I feel like it’s the armor that I was wearing. It was like, here’s the perfectionism. I feel like I have to do this in order to be loved instead of just having my own worth. But I don’t know your definition.

Speaker 4 (30:17):

I mean you said it in a different way, but I think it’s the same way. It’s the same thing. I’m getting at your imperfect and not just yours. Everyone who struggles with this, your imperfect self wasn’t good enough as a child. It wasn’t good enough in the meaning that you placed on how your parents perceived you. And the interesting thing is you said it’s about the meaning. Well, it’s not just about money. It’s really the meaning we place on everything. Everything. Because an event is just an event. It has no meaning until we place that meaning on there. So Dr. Gabor Mate says, trauma isn’t the actual bad thing that happens to you. That’s a traumatic event. The trauma is the meaning that you place on that event. Yeah,

Speaker 3 (30:59):

We’re all telling ourselves stories all the time to bridge that gap. Yeah, so definitely resonate with that. This is awesome. So I want to give people a little bit snapshot of what you do to, because, so how do they get more of this if they want to learn more or with what you go into and really helping people, where can they find you? What’s the best place? I love that you have the community aspect as well. So anything you want to say here at the end around your guys actual work?

Speaker 4 (31:30):

Yeah, let me just say a couple of things and then I’ll let Yvonne actually explain the program. But if you like this type of content, we have a high top 3% ranked podcast called How to Be Happier for Entrepreneurs. So go check us out on all the major platforms. And a second thing is if you’re sitting here thinking, huh, I wonder if I have some of these meaning or programming issues, you can find out and potentially change your life in three minutes by taking a self-love quiz@bradchandler.com slash quiz. All change begins with awareness. So let’s see where you stand. And if you score negative self-love or lack of self-love, I promise you every area of your life is negatively affected, which means what’s the opposite of that? Your life can improve so drastically, like mine did

Speaker 3 (32:12):

Awesome.

Speaker 1 (32:12):

Yeah, I would add to that. You mentioned earlier, David, people find this is woo booo. People are like, I love myself. Some people might even think like, oh, I’m super confident I don’t have self-love issues. And they’re like, Tina Turner, what’s love got to do with it? I’m successful. I got this money. Love has everything to do with it. So even if it makes you cringe, go to brad chandler.com/quiz. Take the self-love quiz because what it does is it helps you figure out not just about the self-love word, but what kind of relationship do you have with yourself? Because whether you think you are important or not, and you think everybody else is more important than you, you’re not actually making them important. It’s selfish not to take care of yourself first because you’re not giving all those other people the best of you. So David, quite a lot of entrepreneurs, I got to do this for the money.

(33:04):

I got to do this for my employees. I got to do this for the company. But if you are running yourself on empty of self-love, you’re not doing much good for anybody. So this is an insightful three minute way to see how am I relating to myself and how, what’s that impact, how I relate to others? And then we give you additional information thereafter that if you want to learn more about, there’s a link. You can book a call with us and we’ll deep dive into your results. And then if you want to take the next step, we have a five week program. It is a hybrid. It combines one-on-one coaching, as well as group community coaching. We call them masterminds because basically we are continuing to learn every single week about new things to give people new tools and new life hacks so that everybody can continue to push a comfortable push, not even a push, they can float to their limitless selves versus feeling like they’re pushing a rock uphill. They’re just kind of floating up the hill to greater joy and happiness.

Speaker 3 (34:07):

This is so great. Okay, go ahead, Brett. Sorry

Speaker 4 (34:10):

David. You know a gentleman in family, I’m blanking on his name right now. Yvonne, you can say his name. I can’t think of his name. He was on the podcast, he was on one of my last podcasts. He took this and he was like thinking, how am I going to make this return because there’s an investment in this program. And he said at the end of the podcast that since working with you guys six months later, my income has doubled. So because of the limiting beliefs in his head, and he didn’t even sign up, had nothing to do with money, he came to me with overwhelm. So

Speaker 3 (34:48):

I love

Speaker 1 (34:48):

That. Are you talking about Brent?

Speaker 4 (34:49):

Yes,

Speaker 3 (34:51):

Yes. Is it Brent Powers? Yep. Yeah, he’s been on here. I love that guy.

Speaker 4 (34:55):

Sorry Brent for forgetting your name. I’m stuck in the moment. But yeah, just phenomenal dude. He’s a great human being. He came to us for one thing and everything in his world now has changed for the better.

Speaker 3 (35:08):

That’s awesome. I love hearing that because I was one of those people back in the day, but thinking it was woo woo or whatever it might’ve been. And it’s like I feel ashamed of who I was at that point. That’s where I was. But now I know it’s like this is where you have to go down this road for yourself. One of the things that helped me, I’m a man of faith. So in the Bible it says the two greatest commandments love the Lord of your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and love your neighbor as yourself. And it’s like what really hit me is you can’t love other people if you don’t know how to love yourself. And the Bible is clearly telling you, boom, you got to do both here. There’s actually three things in here, and one of ’em, a lot of people just skip out on and try to do the love others, and they never really even find self-worth in that or self-love through even loving others.

(35:59):

They haven’t got it for themselves. So that’s what helped me go down this road. And then honestly, if you’re listening to this and you’re like, what is all this? Should I really do anything with this? This is where it’s probably blocking you every area of your life, not just with a money area. I want to help you with your money, but this is probably what’s stopping you from having a happy marriage or having a good relationship with your child or having good relationships with everyone in your family. If you’re still struggling, if you’re an adult child that has your own life and you have parents that are still warding over you, it’s like how the mending relationships across generations too. So I really like go to branch, it was brad chandler.com/quiz for the quiz, and then he is also got the podcast and say the name of the podcast again for the Happy, how to Be Happier for Entrepreneurs.

(36:47):

Awesome. So how to be Happier for Entrepreneurs. These are great people. Get them around you and get around them. And then also, I love the community aspect. That’s what a lot of this doesn’t have when you go down this road. I feel like that is missing the mark big time. And a lot of people who want to do this type of help, they don’t create that community of like-minded people that have gone on this journey together. So I absolutely love that. So thank you so much both for being here today. If you’re listening to this too and you’re like, okay, I still need help with the day-to-Day of the finances and stuff, and where the heck is my money going? That’s simple cfo.com. So you can head over there and we’ll help you remove some of those financial roadblocks in your life and in your business. But I want to get them on here because I know this is some of the stuff that will take care of the root issues that you have and that will really help you get to that next level. So love that you have that illustration about Brent too. It’s like there’s a lot of people out there just like Brent, just like myself, that have gone down this road and come out a lot better on the other side. Brad, of Yvonne, this has been awesome. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom here today. Thank you.

Speaker 1 (37:50):

Thank you. Nice chatting with you, David. Bye bye.

Speaker 2 (37:54):

This episode of The Profit First for REI podcast is over, but there are plenty more where that came from. Are you ready to learn how David and his team can help implement the Profit First system in your business? Schedule a discovery call@simplecfo.com right now. We’ll see you next time on The Profit First for REI podcast with David Richter.

Speaker 5 (38:18):

Title: “Profit First Strategies with Jay Conner: The Power of Private Money”

Episode: 242

There are 15 reasons to love about borrowing private money over traditional money. One of them is making your own rules for your private money.

In this episode of Profit First for REI podcast, Jay Conner, a nationally renowned real estate investor and the king of private money. He talks about how private money works.

Jay helps you get your money from private lenders and will share with you the mindset that will get you money in the door without you ever having to worry about it.

Listen and enjoy the show!

Key Takeaways:

[01:01] Introducing Jay Conner

[05:00] Introduction to private money

[08:30] The Great News Phone Call

[11:23] Why don’t you use your own money?

[13:18] Maintaining relationships with private lenders

[15:40] Private money vs traditional money

[22:05] Things that make them want to recommend you

[25:18] Advice for real estate investors

[29:01] Connect with Jay Conner

Quotes:

[07:34] “If you are talking about private money and raising private money with an individual and you got a deal for them to fund, you already sounded desperate.”

[12:07] “If you want to scale your business, private money is the way to go.”

[16:05] “In this world of private money, we make the rules. We set the interest rate, we sent the length and all of that.”

Connect with Jay:

Website: https://www.jayconner.com/book-details/

Tired of living deal to deal?

Transcript:

Speaker 1 (00:00):

I got 15 reasons I love private money over traditional money. I won’t share all 15, but the biggest one is it puts you in the driver’s seat. The traditional way to borrow money is you go to the bank and get on your hands and knees and you’re begging and chasing. Well, they are making the rules right? Like the lender is making the rules. But in this world of private money, we make the rules, we set the interest rate, we set the length of the note and all that.

Speaker 2 (00:34):

Speaker 3 (01:01):

We have Jay Connor back on the podcast. I love Jay Connor. He helps you get your money, the money from private lenders and that whole framework and process, but he does it from a passion and a place of heart. And servant Teachership. I feel like he goes out there and is a servant teacher of how private money works. Listen to this episode. He gives the magic question he tells about desperation and private lending, and I thought his perspective was so good, and then ultimately the mindset that will get you money in the door without you ever having to worry about it. So listen to this episode. Can’t wait for you to get value from it. Thank you for being a listener of the Profit First. RII podcast. Have a great episode. Hey, here’s the profit first RI podcast. Really excited to have Jay Connor back because he’s the came of private money. And this is where I love to go into this topic because I don’t care what kind of business you’re in, you probably need help with this, but especially if you’re in the real estate world, this comes up all the time at every event I’m at with every conversation I have. So we’re having the cane here talk about private money today. So Jay, thanks for being on the show.

Speaker 1 (02:07):

Hey David, thank you so much for having me come on here to talk about my most favorite topic. Of course, that being private money. And why is that? Because private money’s had a bigger impact on our real estate investing business than any other strategy that we’ve implemented in our business.

Speaker 3 (02:24):

Why did you go down that road though? I mean, you teach this all the time. You’re helping a ton of people, like anyone I’ve ever talked to that works with you is like he taught me how to do and I got money and it actually works. So I mean, how did you even go down that road where it made a difference on you and then you wanted to get it to others?

Speaker 1 (02:43):

Well, I actually backed into it. I didn’t do it on purpose. So here’s what happened. So my wife, Carol, joy and I, we’ve been investing in real estate, single family houses, other real estate full time here in eastern North Carolina since 2003. And here’s what happened. From 2003 until 2009, David, all I knew to do in my real estate investing business was rely on the local banks to fund my deals. I mean, all I knew to do was go to the bank, get on my hands and knees, put my hand underneath my chin, raise my skirt up so they could look at all my personal financial statements and stuff and actually beg to get my deals funded. That’s all I knew to do. And so I had a big wake up call in January of 2009 after being in this business here in Eastern North Carolina. I called up my banker.

(03:38):

I told him about these two deals I had under contract in Newport, these two single family houses. And David, I learned like that over the telephone that my line of credit had been shut down with no notice. My banker, his name was Steve, and the bank was bb and t at the time. I said, Steve, what in the world are you telling me? My line of credit is shut down. I got two deals under contract. You gave me no notice. Why is the bank closing my line of credit? He said, Jay, don’t. There’s a global financial crisis going on right now. I said, no, but now you just gave me a global financial crisis. Financial crisis, yeah, I ain’t got no way to fund my deals. And I got ’em under contract. So I hung up the phone and here’s what happened, David. I sat here and I asked myself a very important question.

(04:27):

And so I’m going to share this question with your audience right now. This question I’m going to share with you will help you solve any problem you’ve got. I don’t care if it’s business, financial, career, health, relationships. I don’t care what your problem is. By the way, David, these people going around and saying, any problem, you got some opportunity I want to throw up. I didn’t have no opportunity. I had a problem of not funding my deal. So here’s the question I asked myself. The question I asked myself was, Jay, who do you know that can help you with your problem? And when I asked myself that question, I immediately thought of my good friend Jeff, who lived in Greensboro, North Carolina at the time, and he was investing in real estate. And so I called him up and I told him what happened. And he said, well, Jay, welcome to the club.

(05:18):

I said, what club? He said, the club of the bank shutting you down and losing amount of credit. They shut me down last week. I said, well, how are you funding your deals, Jeff? He says, well, have you ever heard of private money? And I hadn’t. So Jeff told me about private money. He told me about self-directed IRAs and how people can use their retirement accounts and funds that they currently have and move them over to a self-directed IRA company and then loan that money out to us real estate investors, either tax deferred or tax free depending on the type of account they’ve got. Well, that just opened up my whole world. I’d never heard of that. And so what did I do? How did raise $2,150,000 in less than 90 days after being cut off from the bank? Well, here’s what I did, and here’s the secret sauce I put on my teacher hat.

(06:10):

So I put on my teacher cap, which is my private money teacher cap, and I just started teaching people in my own network what private money is, how they can earn high rates of returns safely and securely. And what’s interesting, Carol, joy and I, we got 47 private lenders right now. Not one of them had ever heard of private money and private lending. Not one of them had ever heard of self-directed IRA companies and what a third party custodian is. That’s important by the way, to establish a relationship with a self-directed IRA company because over half of my private lenders are using their retirement funds. And if I didn’t have that relationship to introduce them to move their retirement funds over, I’d be missing out on over half of my private money. So how did I go about raising all this money when I was cut off from the banks?

(07:02):

I led with a servant’s heart. I led with education. And here’s a really, really important point. I separated the activity. I separated the conversations of telling people what private money is and how they can earn high rates of return safely and securely and having a deal for them to fund. You see, desperation has got a smell to it. And when you talk about is that not true, David? Yeah, very true. So if you’re talking about private money and raising private money with an individual and you got a deal for them to fund, you’re already sounding desperate and you’re not even trying to sound desperate. So we don’t talk about deals and when we’re first exposing somebody to how they can earn high rates of return, we talk about private money. So how do we separate those conversations? Well, when someone has told me that they’ve got, let’s say they’ve got $150,000 they want to invest and get high rates of return conservatively, I’ll say, great, I’ll put your money to work for you just as soon as possible.

(08:11):

I don’t talk about a deal upfront. If they’ve got retirement funds that they want to get higher rates of return on, I’ll introduce ’em to the self-directed IRA company that I recommend. They’ll get their funds moved over. And so here’s what happens and here’s the magic sauce, David, I give ’em and I call ’em up with what I call the great news phone call. What in the world is the great news phone call? Well, the great news phone call is not a pitch. I’ve never pitched a deal in my life ever since I started raising private money in 2009. I pick up my handset with my cord attached to it here in North Carolina and I call some of your, don’t even know what that is. And let’s say, David, let’s say you’re one of my private lenders. So I’ll put my phone right up here and you’ll answer the phone and we’ll have a little chitchat and I’ll say, Dave, I got great news for you.

(09:06):

I can now put your money to work. I got a house in Newport with an after repaired value of $200,000. The funding requires 150. Closing is next Tuesday. You’ll need to have your funds wired to my real estate attorney next Monday. I’m going to have my real estate attorney email you the wiring instructions end of conversation. Notice I didn’t ask If you want to fund the deal, of course you want to fund the deal. You’ve been waiting for the phone call. I’ve told you the program. I’ve taught you the program, you know what kind of rate you get, what the maximum loan to value is, the program that I’ve taught you. And so now you’re waiting for the good news phone call, which I just gave you. And in addition to that, if you as my private lender, if you’ve moved your retirement funds over to a self-directed IRA company, you ain’t earning any money until I put your money to work.

(10:04):

You moved it at my recommendation. Now I’m ethically bound to put your money to work. You ain’t earning any money until you actually put her to work. So again, we separate conversations, we leave with a servant’s heart, we educate, and by the way, David, these people going around saying don’t just get the deal under contract. The money is show up. I want to throw up where is the money going to show up? Is it just going to rain out of clouds or something? No, get the money lined up and you can get it lined up fast. Just like me. There’s always going to be deals.

Speaker 3 (10:38):

Yeah. Oh man, that’s really good stuff. I love how you went down that road and it helped you personally. Now you’re just teaching a lot of people. I love that magic question. Who do you know that can help me with my problem? It’s that who, it’s not always the how. It’s the who did I know, and in that point it really helped you. I also run into a lot of times, I don’t know if you see this, where there’s someone who’s like, I could save a couple interest points if I just use my own money versus a private lender’s funds. What are your thoughts on that of always taking down your own deals versus going out there and putting the work into getting a private lender?

Speaker 1 (11:17):

Sure, I get that question all the time. They say, Jay, you making all that money? Why don’t you use your own money to invest in real estate? Why are you still borrowing private money? Well, here’s the answer. If you’re just going to do one deal, that’s a great use of your money. That’s a fantastic use of your money. But do you want to scale your business? I mean, right now we’ve got seven different projects going on, single family houses simultaneously. Well, I don’t want my money buried in seven houses or projects simultaneously, which here in our local market can easily be over 3 million with the prices of our homes. So if you want to scale and really, I mean most people have got a bottom of the bucket in their checkbook. So if you want to scale your business, then private money is the way to go. Another answer to that question is, do I want to pay myself 8% or do I want to use my money for something else,

Speaker 3 (12:22):

Right? Yep.

Speaker 1 (12:24):

So that’s a couple of answers to why I use private lending and why I’m still using 47 private lenders,

Speaker 3 (12:33):

Which is great. I love what you said. If you want to scale, it can run out of cash real quick. If you just keep using your own money where a lot of people have to choose between, okay, paying some percentage points or sleeping at night, and it’s like, I think I like your option a whole lot better, especially if you’re looking to grow. But I like how you said that one deal. That’s okay, but if you are looking to be a real estate investor, this is something you’re going to have to go down that road. Now, last time I asked you some questions about the private lending process. I don’t think I asked this one though, is how do you maintain a relationship with that many private lenders? You’ve got 47 people in your network that you call up with the good news call. So is it like how do you maintain a relationship with all those people?

Speaker 1 (13:22):

I mail ’em checks.

Speaker 3 (13:25):

I love that. That’s a great answer. Oh man. No better way to keep a relationship there.

Speaker 1 (13:33):

I mean, they love getting money in the mail, right? Yeah. They love mailbox money, so I mail ’em checks.

Speaker 3 (13:41):

So you mail ’em checks. So you’ve built a good enough business where you can keep 47 lenders busy and their money active.

Speaker 1 (13:50):

Well, to be totally transparent, I mean, it is a juggling act to tell you the truth. I mean, there’s more money than there is deals.

Speaker 3 (14:00):

Yep.

Speaker 1 (14:01):

There’s more money than there is deals. And so we got 47 private lenders. Some of them have got $30,000 with us, some of ’em have got a million dollars with us. I can’t buy a house for 30,000, but I can use 30,000 for rehab money. You can use private money, borrow private money in a junior position, you’ve got to disclose that. But I can put private money in a junior lien. But what comes into play there is what we call total loan to value. So I’m not going to be borrowing more than 75% of the after repaired value. I didn’t say the purchase price 75% of the after repaired value. But let’s say back to that example that we just talked about, David, where if I’ve got a after repaired value on a home of 200,000 for easy figuring, I can borrow up to 150,000. That’s 75% of the after repaired value. But if I buy it for a hundred thousand, which I do all the time, 50% of the after repaired value, I can have a private lender in first position at a hundred grand. I could have another private lender in second position at 50 grand. So add a hundred to the 50, now one 50 divided by 200,000 after repaired value, I got a total loan to value of still 75%.

Speaker 3 (15:27):

Yeah, I love that. And it seems like private money gives you flexibility and

Speaker 1 (15:32):

Options. Does that make sense?

Speaker 3 (15:34):

Yeah, that makes sense. A hundred percent.

Speaker 1 (15:37):

Oh, absolutely. Flexibility is where it’s all at. I got 15 reasons. I love private money over traditional money. I won’t share all 15, but the biggest one is it puts you in the driver’s seat. The traditional way to borrow money is you go to the bank and get on your hands and knees and you’re begging and chasing, well, they are making the rules, right? The lender is making the rules. But in this world of private money, we make the rules, we set the interest rate, we set the length of the node and all that.

Speaker 3 (16:14):

I love that. Flexibility is the ultimate play in real estate. You want to have flexibility and you want to be able to have that. So I love what you teach. Who is the person that you’re trying to teach out there? Is it the person that’s done one deal a thousand deals? Who are you trying to help the most with your business?

Speaker 1 (16:33):

Yeah, that’s interesting. At my live events, which is called the private money conference, and my live events, we have about 60% or so have already done deals. They’ve already done deals. They want to scale their business. They are real estate investors wanting to scale their business, and about 40% are looking to get their very first deal. So I’m helping everybody. I mean Stu and Harriet Baldwin from New York State, they enrolled and joined my mastermind membership community and they already had a portfolio of a hundred houses. They’d already raised over $2 million in private money, but they wanted to see how I went about it. Well, just one webinar that I recorded with them brought in 1.2 million in additional private private money. So I’ve worked with real estate investors that are brand new and those that are also seasoned to help them get more private money ready to go for their business.

Speaker 3 (17:33):

I love that. It sounds like a lot of people out there need private money, and even if you’re just getting started, if you don’t have the funds to do that first deal, like you mentioned, you do that first deal, that one deal at a time, it might be okay, but this sounds like a great spot where if you’re getting into it or if you’ve got lots of stuff going on, this could be another way to make sure your company can keep running without what you ran into with the banks back in 2007, eight or oh nine. Would you say that’s true as well?

Speaker 1 (18:04):

Absolutely. Absolutely. I mean, I’ve met very, very few people. In fact, I can’t even think of one. I haven’t met any real estate investor that says, I got enough money.

Speaker 3 (18:20):

Yeah, me either.

Speaker 1 (18:22):

I can’t use any more private money. However, David, you are looking at one right now. I got about almost $2 million right now, what I call sitting on the shelf waiting to be deployed. And I tell you what, I’ve had new private lenders come into my world that want to invest and just to prove to them that I can perform. I’ll take the new private lender’s money and pay off a current private lender, refinance the deal so I can get their money to work for ’em, right?

Speaker 3 (18:53):

Ah, yep, that makes sense. I like that. As you grow and scale, you might run into that issue and you make one lender a little bit happy. I mean, at least they’re getting paid off, but then they probably come back to you and say, I want you to put my money to work again. Do you have that come up a lot?

Speaker 1 (19:12):

Quite frankly, when I pay ’em off, they’re not happy.

Speaker 3 (19:17):

That’s why I said just a little happy, maybe a little bit.

Speaker 1 (19:20):

But when I pay ’em off, they’re not making any money on that money. In fact, with a new private lender, I’ll get ready to pay ’em off cashing out on a deal and I’ll call ’em up and say, Hey, just want you to know that you’re going to have a check coming in the mail from a real estate attorney’s trust account. We’re paying off this house. And they’ll say, Jay, can’t you just keep the money? And I’ll go, no, I can’t keep the money unless I’ve got your money secured by a property because we do not borrow unsecured funds. Now, here’s maybe a little advanced strategy for some folks, but I do substitutions of collateral or loan modifications all the time. If it’s a small amount of money that a private lender’s invested 30, 40, $50,000, and we use it for rehabbing a property. So when I’ve got another property I’m getting ready to start on, I’ll substitute the collateral and keep that 30 or $50,000 note in play. So they keep earning money on that money, but we will substitute the collateral just to a different project that we’re moving to.

Speaker 3 (20:25):

That’s awesome. So then sounds like you have a good problem. It’s like, I want that. Well, I think a lot of real estate investors would rather the problem, I have too much money versus I’ve got these deals and I can’t fund them. So I really like how you teach people that and where it could snowball into this, where it’s like, I’ve got 47 private lenders, I’ve got to go out there and get the deals for ’em. Absolutely. And I really like that. And

Speaker 1 (20:50):

For goodness sakes, you don’t start out with 47 private lenders. I started out with one, right? I started out with one and then that quickly became two and three and four and five because private lenders tell other people what’s going on. So I haven’t actively attracted private money for years because our current private lenders just keep sending us people. In fact, day before yesterday, day before yesterday, I got a phone call from the mother of a good friend of mine, his name’s Craig, lives in Newburg, North Carolina. Craig had told his mother about this investment thing that I got going on and she had never heard of it, which is really funny. I’ve been doing it now private money since 2009. So she calls me up and she says, Hey, my son’s been telling me about this investment thing you got going on. Tell me about it. So word of mouth gets around very, very quickly when you start doing business with private lenders the way I do.

Speaker 3 (21:53):

Yeah, I like that a lot. So in order to get people to talk like that, what are the biggest things that you do for your current private lenders that makes them want to recommend you?

Speaker 1 (22:07):

Well pay ’em on time.

Speaker 3 (22:08):

There you go. That’s a big one. Sounds like that would be a really great place to start.

Speaker 1 (22:12):

Pay ’em on time. But I also have three times a year I put on a party for our private lenders at the Dunes Club. So we have three times a year a VIP reception over at the Dunes Club on the beach, and it’s just an evening of private lenders getting together and we have a good old time and I feed them and give them all the soft shell crabs they want, and I tell ’em to bring their friends with them.

Speaker 3 (22:42):

Yeah, that’s awesome. So number one though, that anyone can do at any stage is pay people on time. So actually pay, would you say, what about communication? I hear that come up sometimes too. How do you do a good job on the communication with your private lenders as well?

Speaker 1 (23:03):

Well, it must be good enough. They never go away,

Speaker 3 (23:06):

Right? Yeah, that’s the big things I hear.

Speaker 1 (23:10):

Here’s one thing I have not delegated as far as communication. I personally, I mean my relationships with my private lenders are very, very important. So I personally pick up the phone, pick up the phone, and call my private lenders when I have got a deal for them to fund. I do not delegate that out. I could

(23:37):

Delegate that out, but I don’t, when I got a deal for them to fund, I’m the person on the phone keeping that relationship When I’m getting ready to pay them off. I don’t have a check just show up in the mail. Of course they got to sign a payoff instruction letter if a different closing agent is closing it for a buyer. But before any of that happens, I personally call ’em up and I tell ’em that we’ve got that property sold. We’re getting ready to pay you off. Or I’ll call ’em up and I’ll say, Hey, we’re getting ready to pay this property off, but I will keep your note open so you can keep earning money. I’m just going to substitute the collateral. We got some documents we’re going to email to you for you to sign and send back the communication. I’m personally involved in putting their money to work and letting them know when we’re cashing out and where they are on the deal.

Speaker 3 (24:31):

That’s awesome. Then since it’s the profit first I podcast here, I love this concept of the private money because you need your cash in your accounts. So to be able to run your business, do those things, and then setting up a separate account just for your private money lenders, so it makes it easier to do what Jay just told you to pay them back, to pay them back on time to be in good communication with them. So now this has been really good. Do you have any other advice before I ask you? How could they work with you? How can they get in touch with, because I know this is something that is needed desperately, that I send people your way all the time. I know I trust you to help people, but any other last minute advice here that you would give to the real estate investors listening to the podcast?

Speaker 1 (25:18):

Sure. I appreciate you asking that question. It’s going to be very hard to own a lot of real estate

(25:26):

Until you own the real estate between your ears. So what do I mean by that? People ask me, how do I start? How do I start raising money? I can tell you how you start raising private money. You get your heart right, you get your mindset right. So what do I mean by that? Well, what do you do? You lead with a servant’s heart, you lead with education, you put your private lender money hat on, you private lender, teacher hat on, and you leave with education, don’t pitch deals, and you really, really are concerned about the other person and realize, part of this mindset is realize you’ve got an opportunity to change people’s lives, right?

Speaker 3 (26:11):

That’s so good.

Speaker 1 (26:13):

We’ve got countless people that are particularly in their retirement years, that have thanked me and Carol Joy for making a difference in their retirement years to where they can, I mean, they don’t want to touch their principal. They want to live off of their principal investment. So they’ve been able to travel, go see grandkids, do all this stuff that they couldn’t do otherwise until they got involved in our program. So just know that you’ve got a way to really make an impact on other people’s lives. And lemme tell you another part of mindset. It ain’t about reaping. It’s not about reaping. It’s all about sowing. It’s all about sowing. I can’t be reaping all that private money and deals until I have sown and given and led with value first. So how you sow is how you’re going to reap.

Speaker 3 (27:08):

Yeah. Oh man, this is so good. I’m glad I asked that question because I hear the passion in your voice and I hear that you really care about the people you work with, the people that have private money lenders out there, you care about that relationship. I love what you said. Get your heart right, get your head right. I also think, like you said too, that if they don’t have that desperation has a smell. So if you’re out there, you’re desperate and you’re just going out there, then you won’t have people like you have that want to keep coming back, that want to continuously invest in you. So that was, I think, the best advice that you could give right there. Get it between your ears and get your heart right. I absolutely love that. And just to recap too, I love your magic question.

(27:55):

Who do you know that can help me with my problem? Then one day you’re going to wake up and you’re going to be like Jay, and you’re going to be helping other people with their problem. I’ve got money. I want to put it somewhere, and you’re the able to get them to where they can be. Desperation has a smell. I love that. And then honestly, I love that pivot. You are like, it’s not about the reaping, it’s not about the interest that I’m making or the profit I’m making for the deal. It’s more about sowing those seeds and ultimately you’re changing lives. That’s why you get private money, and it’s like that interest that you’re paying them is twofold. It’s like you get to sleep at night, you’re not using all your money and you’re getting to help someone else get a return that they wouldn’t be able to get anywhere else or in someone that they trust as well too, and that’s a little bit more tangible than the stock markets or all this other Bitcoin, some of that stuff that’s floating around out there. So this has been awesome. So how do people then, Jay, take that next step with you? Do you have a book? You talked about an event. What can people do?

Speaker 1 (29:01):

Absolutely. Well for your audience, David, I’ve got two gifts. First of all, I finished writing my book Where to Get the Money. Now, this is not a ebook. This is a book book that we actually send in the mail Autographic where to get the money. Now the subtitle is How and Where to Get Money for Your Real Estate Deals Without Relying on Hard Money Lenders or Traditional Lenders. It’ll walk you through step by step how to get all the private money you would want. Very, very easy to read. It’s $20 on Amazon, but you can get it for free. Being David’s audience, just cover shipping. You can go to www dot j Connor, J-A-Y-C-O-N-N-E r.com/book. So I’m an er, not an or. So that’s j Connor, J-A-Y-C-O-N-N-E r.com/book, and we’ll three day priority mail it out to you. Now, in addition to that, I’ve got an upcoming $3,000 per ticket live event right around the corner. But for your audience, Dave, I’m going to let everybody come for free with a measly $97 registration fee. This private money event. You can check it out at www.theprivatemoneyconference.com. The private money conference.com. That’s coming up right around the corner in June. Get on over there. Registrations are open, and I’d love to meet you in person at the private money conference.com.

Speaker 3 (30:31):

Awesome. I’m excited about that too. I love what you’re doing and you’re solving a big need that we hear all the time. Just like all people always needing to sharpen their acts when it comes to private money, you graciously have also invited me there to speak about Profit First. So I’m excited to get to tell people about that so they can get more private money and be more confident and not be desperate when they go and ask for people. So I’m really excited about that as well. So make sure we’re going to put those links there, but make sure either get his book or go to that event. I cannot endorse Jay Moore because I know how many people he helps, but then he also has the heart. You heard it right here. That’s how he wants to help you too. It’s very much a heart and a mission and a passion for him.

(31:13):

So Jay, thank you for coming on, for sharing your wisdom, your knowledge today. If you are listening to this episode and you feel stuck like, what the heck is going on? Where is my money? I don’t know what to do. I’m a little bit nervous to go out there and get private money. I can’t keep my own house in order. That’s where you could go to simple cfo.com where we can help you walk you through that process. We’ll link you up to Jay too. If you need private money or need to learn about private money, this is who we recommend. I recommend Jay to many people, so make sure that if you need that help you go to simple cfo.com. But Jay, again, thank you for being on the show and sharing your wisdom here today.

Speaker 1 (31:51):

David, thank you so much for having me. God bless you.

Speaker 2 (31:54):

This episode of the Profit First for REI podcast is over, but there are plenty more where that came from. Are you ready to learn how David and his team can help implement the Profit First system in your business? Schedule a discovery call@simplecfo.com right now. We’ll see you next time on The Profit First for REI podcast with David Richter.